The episode details the speaker's recovery journey in Alcoholics Anonymous, highlighting community support, resilience, and the importance of releasing character defects for meaningful change while fostering hope through shared experiences.
| Artist: | Stevie B. |
| Title: | Step 1 at Life Is Good Group 4-3-2025 |
| Year: | 2025 |
| 0:05 | A Beautiful Blessing |
| 2:31 | The Journey of God’s Plan |
| 5:27 | The Power of Community |
| 7:41 | Embracing Our Truth |
| 12:49 | The Need for Connection |
| 17:36 | Consequences of Choices |
| 26:11 | Steps Towards Transformation |
| 34:52 | Finding the Highest Power |
In this episode, I share my journey as a grateful believer, a recovered alcoholic, and a member of the Golden Text Group in Hollywood, Florida. I reflect on the beauty of community and fellowship that Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) provides, highlighting how just showing up at a meeting can change lives. From the unexpected moments like meeting Rashid, an Uber driver who shared his own experience of faith and resilience, to the divine purpose in our challenges, I recount how every twist and turn in my recovery has led me to profound connections and experiences. I delve deep into the struggles of addiction and the consequences of poor choices I faced throughout my life. From my early days of feeling less than among my peers, to the misguided decisions that resulted in physical injuries and criminal behavior, my story illustrates the duality of seeking acceptance while battling internal demons. I emphasize that every experience—good or bad—can shape us; it is about how we decide to respond to those experiences that defines our journey. Through sharing specific anecdotes from my youth, including the unfortunate incident that cost me my eye, I aim to convey the message that life’s challenges can lead to transformative growth. I revisit how the pain I experienced eventually turned into the basis of my testimony, which inspires and connects others. Recovery isn’t just about sobriety; it’s also about rebuilding the lost sense of self and forming genuine relationships with others who share similar struggles. I highlight the importance of being present in the moment and how, despite the chaos life throws our way, God has a plan for each of us. I speak about the significance of each step in the recovery process, with a particular focus on steps six and seven, where we become willingly ready to let go of our defects of character. This willingness is crucial for facilitating change and achieving a life filled with purpose, rather than fear and regret. By sharing the stories of those around me, I stress that the journey is made easier when we honor our connections. I also draw parallels between my experiences and those of my peers in recovery, emphasizing the power of community to uplift and inspire. My hope is that listeners understand they don’t need to walk this path alone; we have each other as support, and many "Rashids" can enter our lives unexpectedly if we remain open and faithful. The episode culminates in reaffirming the core tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous—admitting our powerlessness, the necessity of surrendering our will to a higher power, and the transformative impact personal stories can have on the collective recovery narrative. Ultimately, it’s about embracing our testimonies while mentoring others in their hardships, creating a cycle of strength and hope that can endure in the face of life’s unpredictability.
In this episode, I share my journey of recovery as a grateful believer and member of the Golden Text Group in Hollywood, Florida, highlighting the transformative power of community within Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I reflect on pivotal moments from my past, emphasizing the importance of resilience and connection in overcoming addiction. Focusing on recovery steps six and seven, I discuss the necessity of letting go of character defects for meaningful change. Ultimately, I encourage listeners to embrace their stories and understand they are not alone in their journey, reaffirming the core principles of AA and the hope found in shared experiences.
recovery, grateful believer, Golden Text Group, Hollywood, Florida, transformative power, Alcoholics Anonymous, resilience, connection, character defects, shared experiences
Speaker0:
Grateful Believer, Recovered Alcoholic, and a member of the Golden Text Group of Hollywood, Florida. God bless you guys.
Speaker0:
Oh, what a beautiful blessing this is, you know, to see old faces, to see some new faces, to be back here in Boca. And, you know, just when you're in this thing, if you if you just came here you know hold on hang on right because it's it it just gets good and then it gets great and then and then it sucks and then it gets good and it gets great and then sometimes you go to jail right sometimes you go to jail and you come out right you come out, james just think is james james is here james is on the meeting james is on the meeting oh yeah what's up james james is the reason i'm here james is the reason i'm here james the jew is the reason i'm here i just love him, and uh is he gonna be in person is he gonna be in person not yet not yet he's conducting meetings inside there i just did a meeting for him listen wherever you go you take you you bring god there's a meeting you're gonna change somebody we just had a meeting with Rashid in the Uber just now. We just had a meeting with Rashid.
Speaker0:
Our car broke down. My car broke down on the way here in Deerfield, overheated. We pulled over. We prayed to the Lord, said, Lord, because we were in the lane that has, you know, the fast lane that you can't get over lane. And I said, and the engine could have seized because the car started to smoke. But we were like miles away from getting off the exit. And we just, Maddie and I, and the boys, we just said, dear Lord, please get us off and have the engine not seize. We pulled into Deerfield in the Brands Mart shopping center and our Brands Mart store. We called the Uruer and we got to meet Rashid. But that's not the funny part. There's no funny part. I want to just tell you how amazing God is. And so we just start praying with Rashid. And Rashid goes, I used to go to church in Boca. And he said, I used to go to Ebenezer Church. I was in foster care.
Speaker0:
And we said, Rashid, are you a believer? And he said, I am.
Speaker0:
I said, you know what, Rashid, the destination is not as important as the journey. I said, we were supposed to break down tonight we were supposed to get into your uber one of the guys i was with was very generous and and blessed him financially then we blessed him with a prayer we showed him what men of god do, he left on on fire we left on fire i love rashid.
Speaker0:
When you're in the fellowship of the spirit, look for the next opportunity to spread our message. Amen. We weren't panicked. We weren't freaked out. And there's smoke billowing out of my car. And we were a couple minutes late. We could have been hours late. It could have been awful. But when you're in the fellowship of the spirit, you know that God has a plan and a purpose. And right now, Rashid is not going to forget us. And we're not going to forget Rashid. And now you heard the story and did I know that I was going to be in Alcoholics Anonymous when I was when I was 12 years old 13 years old in Long Island New York and did I think that this was the place I would want of course not never never had a vision of I can't wait to get to Boca in AA on Thursday and travel with Rashid to get here no that was not the vision the vision was it was going to be amazing I was going to have an amazing life everything was centered around me and around new york and around long island and about to being jewish and italian and the whole.
Speaker0:
The whole shtick that goes with that and uh and and i and i didn't have the joy that i have today the best thing oh my goodness i got you the best thing that could have ever happened to a kid like me the best thing that could have ever happened to us is finding alcoholics or not this is it's not only a fellowship of the spirit, it's the fellowship of, of, of community. You're never going to go through anything alone. Your, your darkest times are going to become the greatest stories. The things that you go through will make your, your, your test will become your testimonies. Everything that's happening to you right now, those of you that are in treatment, enjoy it. You don't have to continue to come in and out and in and out and now you're in. And we're, we're, we are a walking testimony that what you have been through, but the last 15 treatment centers that brought you to here tonight for, don't forget about everything you learned, but everything you learned over there now put it into practice. Now there's no reason for you to go in and out, in and out, or for you, unfortunately to be one of the ones that don't make it back. And we're, and we're doing an honorable mention in a meeting and saying, you remember Joey, you remember Sarah and remember Sally. Let's take a moment of silence and then pass the pizza. That's it.
Speaker0:
You become an honorable mention. You become a quick antidote,
Speaker0:
or you can have a life beyond your wildest dreams. In this room right now, I cannot tell you how many miracle stories there are.
Speaker0:
And I didn't know that. I thought my life was going to be a pitiful existence because I never had any peace when I was a kid. Now, that's not everybody's story. Some of you had great. I had a great childhood. It wasn't that my parents were great. My neighborhood was great. Financially, we were fine. We never wanted for anything. We had most of what we wanted. That's not the issue. My sister always felt loved and I didn't. And we were being loved on. And I'm sure my parents, I know my mom and I'm sure my dad told me that they loved me all the time. I have a beautiful stepsister that's probably watching tonight. From here, she's visiting that I just love. and I have a sister in New York that I love and I have two parents that I love. One, may God rest his soul. He went to be with the Lord with 28 years. He was sitting in these pews a couple of years ago before he passed away, like I said, with 28 years and life was good and I couldn't feel it. I have something inside me, even to this day, if I don't practice spiritual principles, that wants what you have, that don't feel good about what I have, envies what's going on over there, feels bad about what's going on in here and then use different substances or people to make me feel different about myself so that in the moment in the temporary i can feel anything other than who i am.
Speaker0:
And drugs and drugs and alcohol was not my first choice that that's just something i i worked up to my first my first thing that i did i was a i was an amazing liar you know top, of the class incredible liar. I was an incredible liar. And I know some of you guys are liars now. You're good liars now. You do that for a living. You sell stuff that people don't want and you sell it. You're amazing. You don't even know what you sell and you're selling the heck out of it.
Speaker0:
There's a lot of people at AA that are selling some stuff. and I was I was I was an amazing liar and I know that you can relate there's some incredible, liars previous liars in here and and I was a I was the top of the class and I would tell a lie when the truth would have been just fine are you the Amy that just did the step series here I heard so much about you I heard it was incredible congratulations that's so wonderful let's give her a round of applause.
Speaker0:
You're six years sober, what I was told. And everyone was raving about it. What an amazing gift to have at six years sober that you could command a room like this and everybody wanted to come back. That's a real blessing. You know, only in Alcoholics Anonymous that God uses the gifts that we have or the gifts that he gives us. I'm not saying only in Alcoholics Anonymous, of course not. But what a blessing in Alcoholics Anonymous that he either gives us gifts and he uses them or, or, or gives us new gifts and uses them. And we can, and, and I was hearing your name for 12 weeks just over and over and over again. That's what, what a blessing.
Speaker0:
And so, so I'm in Long Island and, and all the kids on my block, they seem like they, they, they, they got the inside scoop. Like everything is fine with that. They're playing basketball effortlessly, football effortlessly. Everything they're doing seems like effortless. And everything I did was a lot of work. Every time I walked over to the playground, I felt less than. Everybody in my neighborhood had big brothers. The whole neighborhood. And in Long Island, I'm sure it's the same as a lot of the Northeast, it's all blocks. And everything's separated by blocks. And the people on your block are your crew and if you have big brothers now you have a built-in team and you have built-in backup and i had a chubby sister you get no backup for a chubby sister.
Speaker0:
So i'm walking to the playground with my little chubby sister and she's got a little chubby hand and you got no backup, And so I immediately, when I see you guys swishing and, and dunking and hitting and catching, I immediately say to myself, it's because I don't know how to play on. I don't have any backup. And I immediately feel less than, and I immediately feel like if, if I had big brothers, I, of course it would be easy for me, just like it is for you. And I immediately start putting that separation and we could do it today. We could do it in AA. We could do it at our jobs. I immediately start putting separation of my mind into place in areas where there could have been a communion instead. Now I have a separation and then I'm, I'm like 12 years old and I'm going to, and I'm already committing crimes. I want to just share with you because I hear some of your stories. You're amazing. You're athletes. You got scholarships. I did crimes. You know, it's different.
Speaker0:
I'm already, I'm already robbing from the school. Lloyd says I, we, I had different things going on, right? I had little criminal behaviors. I was already stealing stuff. I was already stealing the books of the, of the, of the teacher instead of studying. Like when studying would have been just fine. I come up with this unbelievable plan to break into the school at night with a ladder and, and have to undo the, the, the window during the day and, and, you know, and, and, and, and traverse the roof and get the book and then destroy the book. And then the next day when the teacher comes in, she says, I don't know what happened to the book and everyone starts off fresh again in the class that that was my my genius uh plan when when it was just like a spelling test it wasn't like i was in trigonometry or anything anything serious i could have just studied but i'm like i'm like on a roof you know like all that kind of stuff like in like in the seventh grade and and what happened was um there was a new coach that came to school. Now for all of you that heard my stories 50 times, remember there's new people here that haven't heard the story. So I got to give them a picture on what they're dealing with for the next 10 weeks, 11 weeks. So a new coach comes to school and I'm in a big school, Long Island, it's a big school and it's a 2,500 kids. And my class had like 500 kids.
Speaker0:
And so the new coach comes to school and he looks at my last name, which is Boyarsky. And he says, Boyarski. And I say, yes, coach. And he says, does your brother play for the Pittsburgh Panthers? Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Brian, you know what I mean? You're a teacher. You get it. Like, like my whole life was about to change. I mean, this coach just asked me if my brother plays for the pit. Of course he plays for the Pittsburgh Panthers. So then he asked me again, your brother's Jerry Boyarsky. And I go, and all my friends who know that I have a stepbrother, that's a plumber from Massachusetts.
Speaker0:
They all, they all look at me and, and right there I go, Yes, yes, he does And I didn't know who the Panthers were, To this day I still don't know who the Panthers are And I was taking that story And I was going to live it And so I backed it up with jerseys and clippings, And eventually Jerry Boyarski got drafted into the NFL And that was an incredible day.
Speaker0:
That was like one of the best days of my height my whole high school wanted to know me then they all wanted to know me because I was Jerry Boyar's brother, you had juice I had juice then, that's an insight into my psyche I always felt like a, before AA, before God I felt like a nobody that was willing to do anything to become a somebody, and a lot of times I wouldn't be somebody but i was an almost and an almost is better than nobody i want you to just receive what i just said, if you have what i have you're not just going to put down alcohol because you have some consequences alcohol makes us feel like not just as somebody we feel like the guy like i i dance you know all the things you everything that we know about dance better taller both eyes looked in the same direction everything that you guys have.
Speaker0:
I had everything that I ever wanted in one drink like that. The girl that was the most beautiful girl in the school then became, I could speak to her. All my inhibitions in terms of wanting to be the toughest kid on the block, I became.
Speaker0:
I could fight better. I could dance better. I was better looking. Everything that we know with alcohol does. But for for us we we at least for me um i i don't have control over the second one of those, and the philosophy of an alcoholic is that if one works like that can you imagine how great two works, and the moment two comes down we know exactly where to come back to the two and then and then it and And then, you know, the party starts now, right now. And then if you're an endor, like a lot of us in here, because we have pure alcoholics in here. And I give you guys a lot of, you know, a lot of respect. You guys, you found your drug of choice, right, Linda? You found your drug of choice. You love alcohol. You stayed with alcohol. Alcohol was your master. You didn't veer off. You didn't cheat on alcohol. And I give you guys mad props. I cheated on any, no matter what was in me. If you said to me would you like to try this other substance i'm like of course, i never asked what type of situation i know i never went into your medicine cabinet and looked at the label before i took the entire bottle what would be the point of that i was taking it regardless if it had an orange label on the side of your medicine cabinet and you had do not take with alcohol that's gone.
Speaker0:
Am I right, Frankie? We don't wait to find out. Oh, let me check the EMR. Let me check to find out what this is going to do to me. If it looked like it was going to get me zooted, I didn't.
Speaker0:
Because I didn't feel good about me. And what was the most readily accessible substance was alcohol. Alcohol is the common denominator for most of us. And this is Alcoholics Anonymous. And it's going to, and it's going to stay an Alcoholics Anonymous message. But I want you to know that I'm, I'm a real alcoholic, but I'm definitely not a pure alcoholic. I never was a pure alcoholic. I didn't start out a pure alcoholic. I'm not a pure alcoholic now. I'm a real alcoholic. And I still, to this day, have to remind myself that I'm an alcoholic. Because what'll happen if I'm not in fit spiritual condition, I, I, I know I can't smoke crack. I mean, that's obvious. Okay. And there's, you know, like you smoke crack and go to church. You know, those two things don't go together, but, but I still have this fantasy of being able to have a drink with, with, with, with upstanding people and, and, and not going to jail, right? Not going to, I still believe that that possibly could happen. Right, Maria? We have that because we know nice people that are able to have a drink and they keep their clothes on and they go to work. And I still, I still would like that. I would like to do that. Except every time that happens to me, I lose my clothes, my car, my job, my place. And then I wind up with people that I don't, that I'm not related to. And I live with them.
Speaker0:
So it hasn't really worked out for me.
Speaker0:
So I'm 12 years old and, uh, and the toughest kid in my neighborhood. And so this will be the one time I tell you about my eye. Why, what's going on with this? just in case you think I'm looking at you over there. And then you think I'm looking at you over there and you're like, why is he staring at me? I'm going to tell you why right now.
Speaker0:
So I'm 12 years old and, uh, the toughest kid in my neighborhood, his name's Kevin and he's, and he's tough and I want to hang out with Kevin, but I don't believe that Kevin would want to hang out with me. I don't believe I have enough intrinsic. Hey, right. an intrinsic worth that I could just go up to Kevin's house, ring the doorbell as we did in the old days and say, would you like to come out and hang out with me? We used to say, would you like to play with me? You know, you don't say that now because...
Speaker0:
It's got a whole different meaning now. And a lot of times you can go to jail. But back in the day, we would say that, would you like to play with me? And it was fine. Nobody, nobody, nobody judged you. And so, um, but I didn't think he would want to hang out with me. So when I went and rang his doorbell, he said, why would I want to hang out with you? Just like I thought he was going to say. And I said, because I have guns because my dad, may God rest his soul, was a Korean War hero. Jan, you know, I told you the story. And he fought on Porkchop Hill in the Korean War. And we had guns. And in my neighborhood, that was not that common. And so I told him we can go and blow stuff up and that he liked. And he came over my house and we blew stuff up. But then he went to leave. And when he went to leave, the feeling of low self-esteem, of now what people are going to say tomorrow at school that I couldn't say I hung out with them all day, whatever, whatever the reason was, whatever the reason was from 12 to 34 that I'm willing to forego the consequences of probably a bad decision in order to get a immediate good gratification of a feeling. I don't know why from 12 to 34, I could not see around the corner that this probably would not work out.
Speaker0:
I'm talking about for a large portion of my life. Like this is probably not going to work out. And I told him, well, you can shoot at me. And I gave him the gun. And I said, I'm going to move fast. And I didn't move that fast.
Speaker0:
And I lost my eye. And because of that, because of that, willing to do whatever it took for the immediate gratification of his company changed the course of my life. And in a lot of different ways, a lot of different ways. Anyone that has any disabilities, you know, there's things that you go through that nobody can understand unless you go through the same thing. Now, Romans 8.28 says, God works out all things for those that love him and are called according to his good purpose. and God has used that in my life. It's a funny story. I call myself the one-eyed pastor. People remember me. We have a funny thing. I say, I'm looking at you and you at the same time. It's all cute. But I'll tell you what, every decision that we make has consequences, good and bad.
Speaker0:
The decision, there's people in here right now, you can't see because you're not looking around. There's people in here that have their headphones on and they're not listening. And that's a decision that they're making right now, not to hear a message that could possibly change the course of their next treatment center. If they make it. Or the course of how we got here tonight, it took a lot of work to put on this meeting. Michael and Jan, thank you so much. And David, of course, thank you so much. And Sheldon, it takes a lot of work to stay present in a meeting to pay attention because most of us have attention issues. But if we stay present, we may get a message from God in the meeting. And it's not about don't drink and go to meetings you're not going to hear that and i mean don't drink good meetings but that's not the message the message is in every opportunity in alcoholics anonymous there's a rashid that's waiting to meet you.
Speaker0:
Rasheed's night, maybe his week, is different because of what just happened.
Speaker0:
And my night and my week and hopefully the way that I look at things are different because I met Rasheed. And that all had to do with a car pulling over and smoke billowing out of the front of it and not panicking and knowing that God was in control. And how did I get there? From the kid that was laying in the hospital for an entire year as they tried to reconstruct my eye and going through multiple surgeries, being one of the first kids in being one of the first people in the state of New York to get laser surgery before anyone was getting laser surgery. They tried to rebuild it and they did. And it works. I mean, it doesn't work on my command, but it works. It just doesn't work the way that I would prefer it to work. Like, let's look all in that direction.
Speaker0:
But they did the best they could. And during that year, I was served narcotics. Now, is that the reason I became a drug addict? Of course not. I'm sure there was many other children because I was in a children's ward for a year in New York City that I'm sure a lot of those kids got the same medication and they didn't have to go to alcoholics. It was also during that time, a couple of years later that my dad took me to my first strip club when I was 13 years old because he didn't know any better. And that's what guys did in New York city. We went to those places. We went to guys, did that kind of stuff in times square. And my dad thought that's what guys should do. And, um, and a lot of those guys that were with us on that field trip in that Cub Scout field trip, those guys didn't turn out to be peeping Tom's.
Speaker0:
A lot of those guys i turn out to be a peeping tom i'm a one-eyed peeping tom that's a lot of work, that's not something i would recommend you need two eyes for that you got a one-eye spot and if anybody's coming in another eye to do the job it's not a good profession, so
Speaker0:
That didn't make me a peeping tom the drugs that they fed me in the hospital at 12 and 13 didn't make me a drug addict. My grandfather having an open bar in the house didn't make me an alcoholic. None of those things.
Speaker0:
The soil was ripe for me to become all three. And the soil is ripe tonight for you to recover from anything that you've come in here for. I'm just going to just mention, because there's a lot of newcomers here and you guys may not have heard this, but we're going to get up to an amazing step called step six and seven. And that means that we're entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. I want you to know that Alcoholics Anonymous is not just for alcohol and drugs. Alcoholics Anonymous is for every single defect of character that you have that's standing in the way of your usefulness to you and your fellows. It's that amazing. The power of God is that amazing. You're going to go from selfish, thinking about yourself all the time. What about me? What about my needs? How can I get this met? And you're going to be thinking about what you can do for the next person. And how that's going to happen is this process that we're going to do in the steps and this process about us being willing to not have all the information we don't have amy doesn't have all the information peter m doesn't have all the information i don't have all the information we don't but together together we have all the information that we're going to need because god is constantly disclosing to us and to our fellows what we need to do for the day and this is the third of april uh 2025 and this is the only day with this date we're ever going to have so what is the information that you received already today.
Speaker0:
By the way, if you like any of the stuff I talk about on the Bible, it just so happens that this week, I'm also speaking up here in Boca at a church or in Delray this Monday. I just want to give a little mention for that. It's a program called the Recovery Church. And if anybody wants to have like more, like where I just take off the gloves
Speaker0:
and just, you know, douse you in Jesus, that would be Monday. Okay. That's all happened. That's just happens to be coincidentally this monday and uh and and and it's going to be a great time just like this so that that was a side note i want to get back to where i was uh where was i it was good i was i was there somewhere it was it was going to be amazing.
Speaker0:
Thank you. So you're going to find out in step, thank you. In step six and seven is that when we get there, is that in order for God to remove these defects of character, we're going to have to be willing to let go of these defects of character. He's not going to take away, if you have a problem with pornography and that's a problem for you, he's not going to take it away while you're online. If you have a problem with drinking, you're going to need to stop drinking before you come to the meeting. If you have a problem with drugs, don't come here on marijuana maintenance and then expect the whole message to get through to you. Because that's not this message. This message is God could and would if he were sought. I'm not judging your maintenance, but I'm saying you're not gonna get the same thing as Mike is at six years of pure, clean sobriety. You're not gonna get the same message, right? The message that we believe in is that, like I just said, and see that God could and would if he were sought. Right? If you keep relapsing, the only reason you keep relapsing is you keep getting in the way of his plan for your life. That's the entire bottom line right there. And so, um, so how did I get here? Well, step one, uh, I'm powerless over alcohol and my life became unmanageable. We're powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable. Do you receive that? Did your life become, was it unmanageable? Are you able to take a look at your life and say it was unmanageable? If you're not able to take a look at your life and say it was unmanageable, guess watch you're going to go back to the thing that you think you can manage.
Speaker0:
I i don't personally believe in sugar sodas but if there was the only thing to drink at a picnic and the only thing they had was coca-cola.
Speaker0:
I would drink it coca-cola didn't destroy my life i'm not powerless over coca-cola it's not going to have me wind up just drunk naked for $20 in my hand. I've already determined that I'm not powerless over it. And if I determined that I'm not powerless over it, even though I don't believe in it, even though I don't try to bring any sugar into my system, if this only thing I have, and I just had something at the barbecue and I have to have something and it's the only thing that there, and you hand me a Coca-Cola, I'm going to be able handle it but if i'm in the middle of the desert and and i haven't had a drink in three days, and i'm about to die i'm not going to drink a beer because somehow i'm going to figure out how to smoke some stuff in the middle of that desert that's going to embarrass me and like right at the moment when i go to smoke that cactus i'm going to find out that like right over the hill is an entire city, and I'm already going to have my pants off.
Speaker0:
And no one's going to buy the story that I didn't see the city. That's how powerless I am over alcohol. I know that I'm powerless to my very core over alcohol in any form. And when you get that, when you really truly get that and you can digest that, then your life becomes free. The word says that the truth will set us free. And that truth will set you free. Now, will that truth keep you sober one day at a time for the rest of your life? Absolutely not. Because at two o'clock in the morning, our defects of character come back and then we come all out, all powerful again. We forgot that what happened, we forgot the jail sentence, we forgot the family we destroyed, we forgot the broken promises, we forget the children that we've harmed, we forget all of it and only thing we can remember is that we're thirsty. And that's why we're gonna talk about the steps. because the knowledge of your last drink will not keep you permanently sober. It's a great part of the story. It helps you remember you're powerless, but the only way you stay powerless is constant vigilant work in the program. Isn't that amazing? Your last drink will lose its power. We have people like Lloyd over 35 years. We have people in the back that's 45 years. Trust me, they're not thinking about their last drink.
Speaker0:
Your last drink will lose its power after a time. As a matter of fact, most of our last drinks wasn't even our bottom. It was a bottom, but it wasn't the bottom. Your bottom is the bottom you picked today. Guys that are here from the treatment centers, and if there's anybody here that's new, and you're just in your next treatment center because you don't know what to do, I'm telling you, this could be the last treatment center you could ever go to. You don't have to continue to do the shuffle. The shuffle could be over tonight. You could go back to your house, back to your room, back to your bed, get on the side of your bed and say, listen, God, I don't know what's going on. I know that I'm powerless. I don't know how to stay away from it. And I ask you to take it from me. We all did this. We did this because someone like Bob told us to do it. We went back. We heard that Dr. Bob did it. We heard that Bill W did it. We heard that Dr. Bob did it with his daughter. They did it in front of Ann's bed in the house. We heard about it. We heard about getting on our knees. It wasn't like we were all faithful people. Most of us in here were faithless. The only thing we believed in was getting high and getting drunk and ourselves. And then someone told us, if you get on the side of a bed and you ask God to come into your life and you ask him to keep you clean and sober, you're going to get one day sober. And it happened. It happened.
Speaker0:
And the only reason it's not happening for you is because you still have a reservation that this won't work. But I'm telling you, if you put away the reservation, it will work for you. Every relapse that you ever had got you to here. James Freeman that's on the meeting tonight. Yeah, he took a different, and this is not a joke. This is not a joke at all. He started this meeting. He's the founder of many meetings in Boca, in Coral Springs, at different Jewish places, Chabad. And then he forgot. And I'm talking right in front of him. Trust me, he could kill me in person when you see him. He's huge.
Speaker0:
But he forgot what he was. He forgot that he was an alcoholic. He forgot he was in recovery. And then one day, probably when he came home to his big house, after doing his big job with his big girlfriend, he said, you know what? No, not that his girlfriend was big. I'm not, I don't mean that. I'm saying his nice girlfriend. You know what he said? You know what he said? This is what he said. He said, I deserve a drink. And then that drink said, well, then you deserve crack. And then that crack told him to shoot people at people. Thank God he didn't hit people. And you're going to meet him soon. This is a great guy. that we almost lost, that almost died. And in the time he committed this crime, we've lost hundreds, if not thousands, in Boca and Broward and Miami and the Palm Beaches because they didn't make it back. Why? The simple fact that you cannot admit you're powerless today.
Speaker0:
It's a one day at a time program i just there's a guy that asked i'm not gonna mention his name definitely not gonna mention his name but he asked me to speak this saturday i'm speaking on, i actually think it's tomorrow thank god it's tomorrow and it's tomorrow at noon and i said hey i haven't seen this guy in a long time he's got like 30 years and they said no didn't you hear he just relapsed and thank god he's back i'm not judging him that can happen to any one of us i'm I'm not judging anybody. I'm judging myself. This whole thing is based on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
Speaker0:
And anytime any one of us get big shot-ism, the next thing you know, we could have a shot. And the next thing you know, I mean, James is a miracle. Most people don't wind up to blessing James. James just started a home group in jail. And I just spoke at one of those. And some of you guys probably have. And he's doing the deal, right, Shannon? He's doing the deal. But how many people have we lost because they're not willing to say, I'm powerless. Hi, my name is Stevie B and I'm powerless over the disease of addiction. My life became unmanageable. But there is one that can heal all that. His name is God. He's got a first name. Don't you have to call him the higher power. I have a higher power. That's my wife. She tells me what to do. I have the highest power. I go right over my wife's head.
Speaker0:
Just like Pat has with Shannon. That's our higher powers. But then we have the highest power. And that one is God And you'll find him now And once you find that power Well, you can get a guide around the block.
Speaker0:
And once you find that power, anything else is going to sound like ridiculousness. Uh, we were just at a con this last thing I'll tell him. I'm going to, I can't wait to get back with you guys next week. We were just at a conference and the guy had 52 years, amazing man of God, amazing guy. Oh, I'm sorry. We were in the same small group. Shelton was there. Yeah. We were in the same small group, 52 years. And he kept saying the higher power. I said, sir, no disrespect. I respect everything you've done. I respect the family you've raised. i respect your 52 years but i want to tell you it's offensive to myself and sheldon that you keep calling the creator of the universe the higher power he's got a name it's god.
Speaker0:
And i said it just like that in a respectful tone right i shall not know you, because because because the man the man deserves respect, but what's being propagated in alcoholics anonymous is a bunch of nonsense, and then I had this beautiful boy Brayton I don't know where he is the beautiful redhead boy and he went and he googled because that's what they do and they googled how many times it says higher power in the first 164 pages and it's twice and how many times it mentions God in the first 164 pages and I think you said 270 185 187 187 187 times God and twice higher power and we want What are we worried about offending? Who are we worried about offending? We should be worried about offending the Lord. That's the only one we should be offending.
Speaker0:
Don't worry about offending Johnny One-Eye or Sally Two-Smokes.
Speaker0:
You should be worried about offending Hashem, God, Adonai, the big boss. He's the one that gave us the 12 steps. What do you think? it came from bill w and dr bob two two snools on on a bar stool no it came from the creator god almighty he has a name may you find him now i'll see you guys next week.