o Volume 26 | Issue 1 A Publication of the American Association of Christian Counselors IN THIS ISSUE Finding Hope in the Incomprehensible God Page 18 Emotional Neglect: Another Unspoken Form of Emotional Abuse Page 27 What is Religious Trauma? Page 22 On September 12-16, 7,000 Christian counselors, coaches, pastors, and ministry leaders from all 50 states and nearly 40 countries gathered together at the magnificent Gaylord Opryland Hotel and Convention Center for the 2023 AACC “Know Hope” World Conference for one united purpose: to provide clinically-excellent, biblically-based training to help the Christian caregiving community help alleviate the mental health crisis God’s way. This five-day event featured six mental health learning institute intensives, 50 three-hour pre-conference workshops, 175 track workshops, poster sessions, as well as plenary addresses from Tim Tebow, Dr. Curt Thompson, Katherine Wolf, Dr. Sharon May, Tim Timberlake, Bob Goff, Mark Batterson, Jennifer Ellers, Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. George Barna, Dr. Shannae Anderson, Greg Surratt and more! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE “KNOW HOPE” WORLD CONFERENCE Lead Articles From the President Clinical Practice Innovative Thought & Practice Trending Now Lay Helping Pastoral Care News & Notes Pass It On 1 14 18 22 27 32 36 41 47
2 Christian Counseling Connection A PUBLICATION OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS AACC Member Services & Editorial Office P.O. Box 739 129 Vista Centre Dr., Suite B Forest,VA 24551 Phone:1.800.526.8673 Email: CCC@AACC.net WWW.AACC.NET President: TIM CLINTON VP of Publications/Editor-in-Chief: MARK CAMPER Advertising Director: KEISHA QUEEN Graphic Designer: AMY COLE Published quarterly by American Association of Christian Counselors, Inc., P.O. Box 739, Forest, VA 24551. AACC is an organization of evangelical professional, lay, and pastoral counselors dedicated to promoting excellence and unity in Christian counseling. To ensure the confidentiality of all individuals mentioned in case material, names and identifying information have been changed. Unsolicited manuscripts and poetry are not accepted. A query letter must be sent first, describing a proposed manuscript. Unfortunately, any unsolicited manuscripts will not be returned. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CONNECTION grants permission for any original article (not a reprint) to be photocopied for use in a local church or classroom, provided no more than 250 copies are made, are distributed free, and indicate CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CONNECTION as the source. Advertising deadline for display advertising is approximately six weeks before the month of publication. Please call for exact deadline dates. All advertising must be prepaid. If you have comments or questions about the content of CCC, please direct them to the Senior Editor. The views expressed by the reviewers, authors, or advertisers do not necessarily reflect those of the American Association of Christian Counselors, and a review in this publication does not imply an endorsement. AACC and this publication do not assume responsibility in any way for members’ or readers’ efforts to apply or utilize information, suggestions, or recommendations made by the organization, its members, publications, or other resources. All rights reserved. Copyright 2018. LEAD ARTICLES The opening night featured an address from AACC President, Dr. Tim Clinton. Additionally, Pastor Tim Timberlake delivered a powerful message on the importance of rest, and former NFL quarterback and motivational speaker, Tim Tebow, shared his personal story. The night was capped off with a concert by nine-time GRAMMY® nominee and five-time GMA Dove Awards Female Vocalist of the Year, Natalie Grant. On Thursday evening, GRAMMY® award-winning artist, Mandisa, and comedian, Ted Cunningham, kicked off the “Rock the Block” Celebration for attendees. Light University also hosted a graduation ceremony to celebrate Biblical Counseling, Mental Health Coaching, and Professional Life Coaching diploma program graduates. More than 225 graduates walked across the stage to receive their diplomas from Dr. Tim Clinton and heard a commencement address from the Dean of Light University, Dr. Ron Hawkins. Over 1,200 family and friends gathered to celebrate the graduates’ academic achievements. Thursday night also featured a Religious Liberty Symposium for attendees to hear from a panel of leaders, including Rachel Rouleau from Alliance Defending Freedom and Mat Staver from Liberty Counsel. Attendees learned ways they can help promote and protect the Christian counseling profession. On Friday evening, the “Night of Joy” Dinner Theater was held—a favorite of conference attendees, allowing them to dress up and hear from contemporary Christian music legend, Steven Curtis Chapman, and Emmy-nominated and best-selling comedian, Chonda Pierce. Attendees also had the chance to view the one-act play, Viable, sponsored by Christian Creative Media and Save the Storks, and hear from a panel of mental health professionals and ministry leaders on how the mental health community and the Church can compassionately respond and support those impacted by abortion.
Christian Counseling Connection 3 The AACC also gave awards recognizing the following mental health professionals and coaches for their dedication to Christian counseling and coaching. The recipients included: n Paris Finner-Williams Award for Excellence in the Advancement of Cultural Sensitivity and Competence: D. Fredrica BrooksDavis, Psy.D. n James Dobson Award for Excellence in Marriage and Family Research and Advocacy: David Carder, M.A. n AACC Caregiver Awards for Excellence in Christian Caregiving: Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., Elias Moitinho, Ph.D., Sharon May, Ph.D., Gary Oliver, Th.M., Ph.D. n Gary Collins Award for Excellence in Research and Scholarship in Christian Counseling: William Hathaway, Ph.D. n President’s Award for Outstanding Influence and Leadership in the Development and Advancement of Christian Counseling Around the World: Daniel Amen, M.D. n James E. Clinton Award for Excellence in Pastoral Care and Ministry: Tim Timberlake n Frank Minirth Award for Excellence in Christian Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine: Warren Kinghorn, M.D. n Mark Laaser Award for Excellence in Scholarship, Research, and Practice in the Study of Pornography, Sex Addiction, and Healing: Troy Haas, M.Div. n David Stoop Award for Excellence in Scholarship in Family Therapy and Practice: Greg Smalley, M.A., Psy.D. n Larry Crabb Award for Spiritual Formation, Soul Care, and Mental Health: Ian Jones, Ph.D., Ph.D. n Archibald D. Hart Christian Counseling Pioneer Award for Excellence in Research and Scholarship in Training and Educating the Next Generation of Leaders in Mental Health and Caring for Others: Chris Adams, Ph.D., Sylvia Hart Frejd, D.Min., Catherine Hart Weber, Ph.D. n ICCA Coach of the Year Award: Georgia Shaffer, M.A. n Michael Lyles Award for Excellence in Clinical Practice: Gary Sibcy, Ph.D. The “Know Hope” Exhibit Hall featured some of the world’s leading publishers, treatment centers, clinics, colleges, universities, resources, and ministries, all geared toward collaboration and resourcing the Christian counseling and coaching professionals in attendance. The revamped AACC Bookstore featured 20 new best-practice continuing education courses and other leading resources designed for professional development for every type of counselor, coach, and ministry leader. The World Conference also marked the official launch of AACC Publishing, which released four new workbooks and its first book, Bounce, authored by counselor, Donna Gibbs. “The Know Hope World Conference was one of the most, if not the most, spiritually-anchored, clinically-excellent, and meaningful events we have ever done,” said AACC President, Dr. Tim Clinton. He added, “From the praise and worship, professional workshops, and networking, people left rejoicing in God. Only heaven will tell of the influence from our time together. AACC’s exponential growth, development, and influence here and around the world is exploding. We look only to God for His continued direction into 2024 and beyond.” Save the date and do not miss your chance to attend the next AACC World Conference, “United,” in Nashville, Tennessee, at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel and Convention Center on September 23-27, 2025. ; LEAD ARTICLES “FROM THE PRAISE AND WORSHIP, PROFESSIONAL WORKSHOPS, AND NETWORKING, PEOPLE LEFT REJOICING IN GOD. ONLY HEAVEN WILL TELL OF THE INFLUENCE FROM OUR TIME TOGETHER. AACC’S EXPONENTIAL GROWTH, DEVELOPMENT, AND INFLUENCE HERE AND AROUND THE WORLD IS EXPLODING. WE LOOK ONLY TO GOD FOR HIS CONTINUED DIRECTION INTO 2024 AND BEYOND.” Dr. Tim Clinton
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6 Christian Counseling Connection t LEAD ARTICLES Trauma has become a prevalent issue in our society today that can impact individuals far beyond the traumatic event itself. It is essential for coaches to grasp the multifaceted nature of trauma to support their clients in their coaching journeys. Emotional scars from trauma can manifest in various ways, such as heightened anxiety, persistent stress, depression, self-doubt, and even physical ailments. In session, you may notice clients exhibiting avoidance-like behaviors, struggling with forming meaningful relationships, or experiencing difficulty managing their emotions. These effects can hinder personal growth and obstruct clients’ ability to reach their goals. Or, you may not recognize it at all. New Trauma-informed Coach Certification Now Available! Introducing the Trauma-informed Coach Certification Recognizing the paramount importance of trauma-informed coaching, we are excited to announce the launch of the second course in our Trauma-informed Coach Certification, TIC 201: Critical Issues and Skill Development in Trauma-informed Care and Coaching. This certification equips coaches with a comprehensive understanding of trauma and its effects, ensuring they are well-prepared to support clients through their healing and growth journeys. The certification program curriculum goes beyond theoretical knowledge. It provides practical tools and techniques that coaches can integrate seamlessly into their coaching practices. Coaches will learn about trauma’s neurological impact, how it shapes thought patterns, and strategies to navigate complex emotional landscapes with empathy and masterful skills.
Christian Counseling Connection 7 LEAD ARTICLES The Need for Trauma-informed Coaches Our goal is to create an army of proactive, trauma-informed coaches equipped with specialized knowledge to be first responders to today’s mental health crisis. Traumainformed coaches help their clients by: n Creating a Safe Space: A cornerstone of trauma-informed coaching is establishing a safe and supportive environment. Coaches prioritize open communication, active listening, and non-judgmental attitudes. This safe space encourages clients to share their experiences and feelings without fear of stigma or shame. n Building Resilience: Trauma-informed coaches guide clients in developing resilience strategies. By helping clients build their emotional coping mechanisms, coaches empower them to navigate challenges and setbacks more effectively through a biblically-informed approach. n Mindfulness and Self-care: Incorporating cultural and spiritual-informed practices and self-care routines can be instrumental in managing trauma-related symptoms. Coaches can help clients identify self-care activities that resonate with them, like prayer, which promote relaxation and emotional regulation. n Goal Adaptation: Coaches work with clients to set goals sensitive to their trauma history. By acknowledging and addressing potential triggers, coaches help clients approach their aspirations in a manageable and non-retraumatizing manner. The Intersection of Coaching and Professional Help Trauma-informed coaches must be skilled in coaching techniques as well as recognizing the boundaries of their expertise. When clients exhibit signs of severe trauma or mental health disorders, coaches should be prepared to refer them to qualified therapists, counselors, or psychologists. This collaborative approach ensures that clients receive comprehensive care tailored to their needs. Coaches can play an active role in referring clients to professional help by: n Identifying Warning Signs and Triggers: Coaches should be knowledgeable about common signs of trauma-related distress, such as extreme dissociation, self-harm tendencies, or suicidal thoughts. If clients display these signs, it is crucial to address them promptly. n Open Communication: Coaches can discuss their concerns with clients compassionately. An open dialogue helps clients understand the intention behind the referral and reduces the potential stigma associated with seeking therapy. n Providing Resources: Coaches can offer information about mental health resources, local therapists, support groups, and crisis helplines. This guidance assists clients in taking proactive steps toward their well-being. How to Become a Certified Trauma-informed Coach Through Light University, we invite anyone who provides care to others to sign up for the Trauma-informed Coach Certification program. This certification is open to both seasoned coaches looking to enhance their skill set and individuals new to coaching who wish to start their journey with a comprehensive foundation. To complete your certification, you must complete the following courses: n TIC 101: Foundations and Applications of Trauma-informed Care n TIC 201: Critical Issues and Skill Development in Trauma-informed Care and Coaching The program’s flexible online format allows participants to learn at their own pace, making it suitable for individuals with varying schedules and commitments. The curriculum is designed by experts in coaching and trauma, ensuring that participants receive the high-quality and up-to-date training necessary to be effective coaches. The Trauma-informed Coach Certification is more than a program; it is our commitment to creating an army of people-helpers who competently promote healing and resilience, one coaching session at a time. Visit LightUniversity.com today to sign up for this groundbreaking certification program. ;
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Submit your church for consideration as a Charter Congregation to steward training of Mental Health Coach First Responders in your community. Register today! LightUniversity.com/MentalHealthCoach EXPLODING!! ENROLL YOUR CHURCH NOW! LightUniversity.com/MentalHealthCoach 2023 LIMITED TIME SCHOLARSHIP NO COST TO THE CHURCH AND TUITION IS FREE FOR STUDENTS! (One-time $54 tech support fee applies) Nearly 40,000 students and 15,000 churches now enrolled & climbing every day! Introducing the all-new Mental Health Coach Certification Program—a 42-hour, biblically-based training that consists of three courses. Enroll and successfully complete all three courses and become a “Certified Mental Health Coach” by the International Board of Christian Care. Our initial goal in 2021 was to engage 750 churches and train 7,500 Mental Health First Responders in and through these congregations. We had no idea what was going to happen but God did! Nearly 15,000 churches and 40,000 students are now enrolled. Get started now! Who can enroll? Under the discretion of your church, anyone with a calling to offer help, hope, and encouragement to those who are hurting and looking for guidance and direction in everyday life. 3 ON-DEMAND COURSES 101: Foundations of Mental Health Coaching 201: Mental Health Coaching Skills 301: Mental and Behavioral Health Disorders n 42-hour, Biblically-based, Clinically-excellent training program n Featuring some of the world’s leading mental health and ministry experts n On-demand video lectures n Available 24/7/365 n Study anywhere, any time, at your own pace, on any of your favorite devices! Learn to help those who struggle with serious mental illness, including topics like: n Addiction n Trauma and Abuse n Communication n Grief and Loss n Boundaries n Panic Disorders n PTSD n Phobias n Relationships n Suicide n Crisis Intervention n Depression n Stress and Anxiety ... and more! “Without question, this training will be one of the most, if not the most, significant projects we have ever done in the history of the AACC. We need an army of helpers in the local church—those of whom God has given natural gifts and talents to offer help, hope, and guidance to the hurting!” Dr. Tim Clinton President, American Association of Christian Counselors Learn from some of the world’s leading mental health and ministry experts, including... Ian Jones, Ph.D., Ph.D. Diane Langberg, Ph.D. Georgia Shaffer, M.A. Michael Lyles, M.D. Jennifer Ellers, M.A. Gregory Jantz, Ph.D. Ron Hawkins, D.Min., Ed.D. Matthew Stanford, Ph.D. TUITION IS FREE ONE-TIME $54 TECH SUPPORT FEE APPLIES
10 Christian Counseling Connection LEAD ARTICLES oOur kids are in a mess. Over the last few years, we have seen soaring mental and behavioral health issues, including increased suicidality, depression, and self-harm, with no signs of slowing down. Mental health challenges were, and still are, the leading cause of disability, poor outcomes, and lifelong health and disability in our youth. Unfortunately, a massive gap exists between youth who need help and those trained to provide support, especially faith-based assistance for families with kids who have sincerely held religious beliefs. This makes children and youth one of the most underserved populations in our modern-day culture. Why have we reached a crisis point? Just take a look at some of the headlines that have sparked this concern across the medical and mental health profession: n Youth Emergency Department Visits for Mental Health Increased During Pandemic n Child and Adolescent Mental Health: A National Emergency ANNOUNCING THE NEXT GEN CONFERENCE ON YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH
Christian Counseling Connection 11 LEAD ARTICLES n Addressing the Child Mental Health State of Emergency in Schools n Surgeon General Issues New Advisory About Effects Social Media Use Has on Youth Mental Health n Teen ER Crisis: Overwhelming Mental Health Visits Are Not For Us, Docs Say Those headlines are just a few of the top results seen over the past few months. Research on the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic is beginning to be released, but it will be years before we fully know the impact of the pandemic on the next generation. COVID-19 added to pre-existing challenges that today’s youth face, but how do we address the crisis now? Announcing the NextGen Conference on Youth Mental Health To address this critical issue head-on, we are excited to announce the NextGen Conference on Youth Mental Health on April 11-13, 2024, in Atlanta, Georgia, at the Renaissance Atlanta Waverly Hotel & Convention Center. Hosted by our own Zach Clinton (AACC) and Dr. Jay Strack from Student Leadership University (SLU), speakers from the event include: n Sean McDowell n Dr. Kathy Koch n Dr. Chinwé Williams n Dr. Chap Clark n Megan Fate Marshman n George Barna n Dr. Matthew Stanford n Dr. Tim Clinton n … and more to be announced soon! This first-of-its-kind event will feature industry-leading experts on youth mental health and ministry to equip mental health professionals, pastors, ministry leaders, coaches, and parents with the tools and resources they need to save the next generation. This event will be packed with 16 pre-conference workshops, five keynote sessions, and 32 conference track workshops, and will address topics most critical to ministry for the next generation, including: n Childhood Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences n Youth Suicide Prevention and Postvention n Self-harm, Eating Disorders and Body Image n Stress, Anxiety, Depression, and Mood Disorders n Youth Substance Abuse n Grief and Loss n Loneliness and Social Isolation n Attachment and Family Development n Gender Issues n Medication n Societal Pressure and Bullying n Social Media Use n … and more! Far too many in the next generation are struggling with their mental health and unable to get the appropriate help and support they need. We all have a role in supporting youth mental health and creating a world where young people can thrive. We pray that you will join us in Atlanta in April of 2024 as we aim to train every level of care to address this crisis. ; ZACH CLINTON JAY STRACK SEAN MCDOWELL KATHY KOCH CHINWÉ WILLIAMS CHAP CLARK MEGAN FATE MARSHMAN GEORGE BARNA MATTHEW STANFORD TIM CLINTON NEXTGEN CONFERENCE SPEAKERS // MORE TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!
14 Christian Counseling Connection FROM THE PRESIDENT GOD, SAVE OUR KIDS Tim Clinton, Ed.D., LPC, LMFT, BCPCCoOur next generation is in crisis. However, that may no longer be the most accurate word to use… as we are facing a disaster. Before COVID-19, our youth’s challenges, including mental health, were already a grave concern for parents, the medical and mental health communities, and the Church. One of the most pressing questions facing us today is: How do we effectively and sustainably minister and counsel the next generation when we do not have any time to waste? Psychoeducation that Equips Parents and Caregivers When most people feel sick or unwell, they first turn to the Internet by Googling their symptoms, and many get caught in the deep hole of sites like WebMD and Healthline. While these sites are meant to be helpful and serve educational purposes, they become self-diagnostic tools when misused. However, what happens to youth who use the Internet for their mental health concerns? According to a recent survey from Pew Research, “one in six Gen-Zers uses TikTok as a search engine, and the hashtag ‘mental health’ has been searched for more than 67 billion times.”1 This popular app is no longer a place to watch dance videos and lip-synching but to find easily consumed, bite-sized chunks of informational content. Youth are getting lost in the algorithm of misinformation being fed to them on an endless cycle based on “likes” and “shares.” How do we effectively and sustainably minister and counsel the next generation when we do not have any time to waste?
Christian Counseling Connection 15 FROM THE PRESIDENT How harmful could this really be? Alarming stats were released from a study from the Center for Countering Digital Hate with researchers who posed as 13-year-old users on TikTok. They found that, on average, TikTok pushed potentially harmful information and content to these users every 39 seconds.2 Another study published in The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry showed that of popular TikTok videos about ADHD, 52% were deemed misleading.3 This has led to 1,200 families pursuing lawsuits against “big tech” social media giants like TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, and Meta (Instagram and Facebook) because of their impact on kids’ mental health.4 How can we combat sites that have no accountability and responsibility? Parents and caregivers must actively participate in how children use technology and engage with mental health-related topics on the Internet and through apps. Just as parents help their kids learn to walk and ride a bike, they must take the same delicacy with technology. Our efforts need to focus on providing parents with the correct information to help their kids on their journey to navigate friendships, relationships, and mental health challenges and providing clinically excellent and biblically-based content that meets youth when they are searching. We must think outside the box. We are no longer in a fight that looks familiar. Fighting for the Family Culture has successfully convinced society that much about the family is wrong. As we know, the advantages of the family are clear from Scripture and a development perspective. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) conducted a study on the impact of family structure on children’s health that showed: “Nearly three decades of research evaluating the impact of family structure on the health and well-being of children demonstrates that children living with their married, biological parents consistently have better physical, emotional, and academic well-being. Pediatricians and society should promote the family structure that has the best chance of producing healthy children. The best scientific literature to date suggests that, with the exception of parents faced with unresolvable marital violence, children fare better when parents work at maintaining the marriage. Consequently, society should make every effort to support healthy marriages and to discourage married couples from divorcing.”5 Sadly, the influence of moms and dads is diminishing. It is hard to find any “popular” content on television or any streaming platforms that do not influence kids to explore their “individuality” or “identity.” Parents are often not seen as role models. However, we know that families strengthen the capacity to love and promote mental well-being. We need to show kids how to fight against peer pressure and the influence of substance abuse, protect their identities as boys and girls, and develop and cultivate a relationship with the Lord, personally and in community.
16 Christian Counseling Connection mWhat We Can Do Now Mental Health America reported that more than 60% of children with depression do not get any type of mental health treatment.6 Couple that with the reality that nearly 80% of America is experiencing a critical shortage of child psychiatrists, and the outlook is alarming.7 These shortages of every level of mental healthcare designed for youth have parents flocking to local emergency rooms. Tragically, emergency rooms across the country report that parents are bringing in children as young as five or six with psychiatric emergencies like anxiety, depression, and suicide attempts—and they are sounding the alarm that they are not equipped to help.8 The lack of follow-up and proper outpatient care has parents scrambling for help—with nowhere to turn. A study from the American Academy of Pediatrics found that more than a quarter of children who went to ERs for mental health issues were hospitalized, either in an ER or mental health facility, and returned within six months—and about 26.5% were back in the ER within a week.9 We must help our kids beat the odds and not become another statistic. Sobering reports like this have led us to feverishly find ways to equip the Church to step in to provide an immediate response. After the release of AACC’s Mental Health Coach program, churches across the U.S. have desperately been asking for resources to help parents and caregivers equip their youth with the necessary skills and resources to survive. That is why AACC recently launched our Youth Mental Health Coach First Responder Certification Program—designed to equip the Church with an army of first responders to coach parents and caregivers and help today’s generations navigate the complexities of mental health. But it does not stop there! We must also address the professional provider shortage, so we are gathering on April 11-13, 2024, in Atlanta for our first NextGen Conference on Youth Mental Health to assist in training and equipping the Christian mental health community to respond more efficiently and effectively to help meet the next generation at their point of need. However, most importantly, we must pray. We must pray earnestly for God’s healing hand on our youth and fight with everything we have to save the next generation. There is no time to waste! ; TIM CLINTON, ED.D., LPC, LMFT, is president of AACC, the world’s largest and most diverse Christian counseling association. He is also Executive Director of the Global Center for Mental Health, Addiction, and Recovery and Professor Emeritus at Liberty University. For the past seven years, Dr. Clinton has extended his ministry as co-host of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, heard on more than 1,400 radio outlets daily, and now hosts a weekend television program, The Road Forward, seen on Real America’s Voice News streaming service and numerous platforms. Recognized as a world leader on mental health and relationship issues, Dr. Clinton spends much of his time working with Christian leaders and professional athletes. Recently, Dr. Clinton and his son, Zach, launched a new daily meditative prayer podcast on pray.com for mental health and relationships, with nearly two million downloads in the first 45 days. Dr. Clinton has authored or edited 30 books. He has been married for 43 years to his wife, Julie, and together they have two children, Megan and Zach, and two granddaughters, Olivia and Sophia. Endnotes 1 Matsa, K.E. (2022, October 21). More Americans are getting news on TikTok, bucking the trend on other social media sites. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/10/21/moreamericans-are-getting-news-on-tiktok-bucking-the-trend-on-othersocial-media-sites/. 2 CCDH. (2022, December 22). Deadly by design: TikTok pushes harmful content promoting eating disorders and self-harm into users’ feeds. Center for Countering Digital Hate. https://counterhate.com /research/deadlyby-design/. 3 Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and AttentionDeficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67(12):899-906. doi:10.1177/07067437221082854. 4 Alfonsi, S. (2022, December 11). More than 1,200 families suing social media companies over Kids’ Mental Health. CBS News. https://www. cbsnews.com/news/social-media-lawsuit-meta-tiktok-facebookinstagram-60-minutes-2022-12-11/. 5 Anderson, J. (2014). The impact of family structure on the health of children: Effects of divorce. The Linacre Quarterly, 81(4), 378-387. doi.org /10.1179/0024363914Z.00000000087. 6 The state of mental health in America. Mental Health America. (n.d.). https://mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america. 7 McBain, R.K., Kofner, A., Stein, B.D., Cantor, J.H., Vogt, W.B., & Yu, H. (2019). Growth and distribution of child psychiatrists in the United States: 2007-2016. Pediatrics, 144(6). e20191576. doi.org/10.1542/ peds.2019-1576. 8 Edwards, E. (2023, August 16). Emergency room doctors beg for help treating children with mental health illnesses. NBCNews.com. https:// www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/emergency-room-doctors-beghelp-treating-children-mental-health-illnes-rcna99951. 9 Hoffmann, J.A., Krass, P., Rodean, J., Bardach, N.S., Cafferty, R., Coker, T.R., Cutler, G.J., Hall, M., Morse, R.B., Nash, K.A., Parikh, K., & Zima, B.T. (2023). Follow-up after pediatric mental health emergency visits. Pediatrics, 151(3). e2022057383. doi.org/10.1542/peds.2022-057383. THE LACK OF FOLLOW-UP AND PROPER OUTPATIENT CARE HAS PARENTS SCRAMBLING FOR HELP—WITH NOWHERE TO TURN. FROM THE PRESIDENT
Visual reminders of hope for your counseling space. Art that inspires with biblical truth. Fine art originals and prints created with hope and faith, by Artist and former Clinical Counselor, Mel Kistner. For more information & to view current work for sale, visit: melkistner.com/aacc MEL KISTNER ART & ENCOURAGEMENT
18 Christian Counseling Connection CLINICAL PRACTICE iI still remember the first time I read Henri Nouwen’s wise observation: “Spiritual formation begins with the gradual and often painful discovery of God’s incomprehensibility in the face of life’s great mysteries and limitations.”1 It hit me like an ocean wave, as something powerful, wild, invigorating, disorienting, and a bit scary. The language was gentle and kind, but the idea was startling, threatening, and liberating. The word doing the heavy lifting in this sentence is “incomprehensibility,” and it expresses something very precise theologically. It is not the idea that God is unknowable or a being who is outside our capacity to understand. Sometimes Christians speak of God as “inscrutable,” usually meaning that He seems to be doing things that are highly questionable. However, we are just going to look past those things and bury our fears, apprehensions, and anger in submission to a mystery. Finding Hope in the Incomprehensible God from the Society for Christian Psychology CHRISTIAN PSYCH NOTES Jeff Dryden, Ph.D. Nouwen means something very different and precise in the language of incomprehensibility. To “comprehend” something implies a mastery of something. It does not mean you know everything about it, but you can draw a circle of comprehension around an object or sphere of knowledge. You may add more knowledge to what you know, but you will add it to the circle without changing the boundary. So, for example, carpentry: you comprehend it when you are adept enough to be a tradesman or cabinet maker. You can learn more, but it is from a place of comprehension.
Christian Counseling Connection 19 t CLINICAL PRACTICE Nouwen describes the place of spiritual growth and maturity as something that lies outside the act of comprehending God in this sense. As Nouwen observes, the movement into this place of meeting God in His incomprehensibility usually comes at a cost, when the “mysteries and limitations” of life (we might say betrayals and tragedies of life) push us out of our idolatries of how we think about God. Idolatry always involves putting God in a box of comprehension, often while saying true things about God. This is the place where I found Nouwen so life-giving and threatening. I had been brought up in a theological tradition, familiar to many evangelical Christians, where the path to Christian maturity was driven by learning more theology. The more theology you learn, the more you grow. It is a simple program with a reasonable linear relationship between input and output. But, if Nouwen is correct, it is also a path of spiritual immaturity. It is a model of spiritual growth that shields many Christians from real progression and leaves them as spiritual toddlers, looking for a God who will give them a juice box. In focusing on God’s incomprehensibility, Nouwen frees us from a distorted idolatrous understanding of God and redefines how we relate to Him. For Nouwen, God’s incomprehensibility is the key to how we move toward Him in adoration and worship and also how we move toward God in our grief, lament, confusion, and anger. God’s incomprehensibility means that His glory, beauty, love, goodness, and righteousness are all infinitely beyond what we can see or hope for… and that we only get tastes of. The more we comprehend God, the tamer and more boring He becomes. (I am a theologian, so I am not advocating theological ignorance. However, the pursuit of theology, when it neglects the worship of God as beyond our comprehension, is always pathological. The place for mystery in our theology is always a test of theological orthodoxy and spiritual vitality.) God’s incomprehensibility creates the space for our grief, confusion, and anger. The comprehensible God is the one who tells us that all those emotions are wicked and that He will not listen to them because life is unambiguous, and He is in control. It teaches us to shut down our emotions or, more likely, take them somewhere else out of God’s presence. This is the place where the Psalms are the greatest testimony to God’s incomprehensibility. We worship God for His beauty and glory that continually exceed our limited vision and hopes. But they also lead us to enter into His presence with our anger, lament, despair, and hopelessness. The Psalms define a space in God’s presence where all of these actions are actions of faith. The unfaithful action is simply not bringing these parts of ourselves into God’s presence. Unfortunately, many churches have habituated us to do precisely that, to leave our grief and despair at home when we go to church. The mystery of spiritual formation is that God blesses us when we follow the pattern of the Psalms and come to Him in both joy and sorrow. His incomprehensibility means that we will not always get an “answer” for our grief and the betrayals and traumas that we either bear ourselves or bear as witnesses for others. However, what we need, and really want, and what the incomprehensible God gives us is compassionate understanding. While God is incomprehensible to us, He comprehends us in His love; He weeps with us in our grief and laughs with us in our joy. Our movement to comprehend God is a fear-driven need for mastery and control. God’s comprehension of us is a movement of His love in which we are truly known, seen, and cherished. This is the foundation of our calling as counselors, to make God’s compassion plausible to our clients by giving them a taste of being known, seen, and cherished. This is also Paul’s point in 2 Corinthians 1:3 (ESV) when he describes God as “… the Father of mercies and God of all comfort.” Paul then goes on to include us in God’s work as instruments of comfort, “… who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (v. 4). The incomprehensible God comprehends us in His mercy, and that mercy gives significance to our afflictions, even though it does not explain them. Our afflictions become the place where we meet the Father of mercies, who comprehends us and forms our weaknesses into an instrument of His compassion to bless us. ; Jeff Dryden, Ph.D., is a Professor of Biblical Studies at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia, where he has taught since 2007. He has also taught theology and biblical hermeneutics to counseling students at Richmont Graduate University. Dr. Dryden specializes in the intersection between biblical interpretation and spiritual formation. Endnote 1 Nouwen, H. (2010). Spiritual formation: Following the movements of the spirit. HarperOne, 3. His incomprehensibility means that we will not always get an “answer” for our grief and the betrayals and traumas that we either bear ourselves or bear as witnesses for others. However, what we need, and really want, and what the incomprehensible God gives us is compassionate understanding.
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22 Christian Counseling Connection INNOVATIVE THOUGHT & PRACTICE w“What is religious trauma?” This question is one that I am most frequently asked by fellow professionals, people on social media, and others. Religious trauma is trauma. I believe it is important to recognize religious trauma as trauma, the same way we acknowledge trauma from war, sexualized violence, and natural disasters, for example, as religious trauma lives in our physiology the same way any trauma does. Trauma is not what happened to us; rather, it is our nervous system’s response to what happened to us. This means that trauma is subjective, perceptive, and embodied. The same is true for religious trauma. Laura E. Anderson, Ph.D. RELIGIOUS TRAUMA? What is
Christian Counseling Connection 23 c Religious trauma is not new. However, with the dramatic increase in social media use in recent years, people have started speaking more and more about their experiences. Folks began to realize that they were not alone, as well as similarities regarding how their minds and bodies had responded to various religious beliefs, practices, and relationships. They began to accept that what they experienced was not okay and the mere cognitive deconstruction of various beliefs and practices was not taking away the embodied, physiological symptoms they were experiencing as a result of their time in religion. As they grieved the life they once knew, many began recognizing embodied psychological and physiological symptoms that resembled diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and other mental health disorders. When folks caught wind that religious trauma was something I specialized in, my practice blew up. As a business owner, this was a great problem to have. As someone who desired people to get the help they so desperately needed, I struggled to justify placing them on an ever-growing waiting list as I knew they needed help now. I realized this “problem” was far more significant than the credence most people gave it; it was more than “bad apples” or unpleasant church experiences. Clinically, we do not have a succinct definition of trauma. I define trauma from my studies as anything that is too much, too fast, or too soon that overwhelms our ability to cope and return to a baseline of safety. Trauma is subjective in that what is traumatic for you may not be for the next person. This also means that trauma is not held in the event, experience, or belief but rather in our physiological response to the event, experience, or belief. INNOVATIVE THOUGHT & PRACTICE
24 Christian Counseling Connection INNOVATIVE THOUGHT & PRACTICE While it is true that we can hypothesize that trauma is more likely to result from certain things (such as childhood sexual abuse) and less likely to result from others (such as seeing an individual run naked on a soccer field during the middle of a match), the way each of our brains and bodies uniquely organizes our experiences and access to safety and support determines if they will result in trauma. For this reason, as clinicians, it is essential to begin recognizing that people’s experiences within religion are more than a “bad church experience.” For instance, children do not have the neurological capacity to conceptualize a place of eternal conscious torment (hell). And yet, when their caregivers and other adults—everyone they look to for a sense of safety and connection—teach of this place, children not only believe it is real but must shift themselves in such ways to avoid it. They begin to shape their lives around what they must do to avoid hell—often believing that mistakes and human tendencies and functions are worthy of eternal punishment. While leaving an environment that teaches this decreases the quantity of those messages coming in, often those children who are now adults function in such a way where they are terrified to make mistakes, shut themselves down, possess no internal locus of control, have no identity apart from the system, and may have an inflated or long-lasting response to engaging in behavior that was previously considered sinful because their brains and bodies were led to believe that these actions warranted eternal admonishment. To be clear, I do not think hell’s teachings are traumatic. However, I do believe that the teachings about hell could result in trauma. And the same is true of other religious beliefs, practices, and lifestyles. Yet, this is also not to suggest that religion is inherently traumatic or that healing from religious trauma requires someone to leave their faith and/or become an atheist. Instead, I am inviting you to consider that religious trauma is trauma. When practitioners consider religious trauma as trauma, we also have access to up-to-date research, cutting-edge interventions, modalities, and theories. We can help our clients resolve and recover from their adverse religious experiences and live a healing and whole life. Furthermore, by recognizing religious trauma as trauma— not simply church hurt or sinners engaging in sinful acts— we have the opportunity to offer compassion to our clients in a meaningful way.; Laura E. Anderson, Ph.D., is a licensed therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, and the founder and director of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery— an online trauma coaching company whose practitioners help clients navigate the impact of high-control religion, purity culture, adverse religious experiences, cults, fundamentalism, and religious trauma. She is also the co-founder of the Religious Trauma Institute. You can find out more about Laura at www.drlauraeanderson.com or www.traumaresolutionandrecovery.com. Transformation for Christian Leaders! Located in the beautiful Colorado Rockies, Marble Retreat has provided a peaceful haven for those in Christian ministry to find lifechanging healing, transformation, rest, and communion with God. Since 1974, over 4,000 people have benefitted from Marble Retreat’s unique program, which consists of a purposeful and professional combination of individual and group counseling with ample time for relaxation, reflection, and world class recreation. Marble Retreat is an excellent choice for Christian Leaders who are struggling. We can help! Visit our website at: www.marbleretreat.org or call 970.963.2499. When practitioners consider religious trauma as trauma, we also have access to up-to-date research, cutting-edge interventions, modalities, and theories. We can help our clients resolve and recover from their adverse religious experiences and live a healing and whole life.
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Christian Counseling Connection 27 n TRENDING NOW David Hawkins, M.B.A., M.S.W., M.A., Ph.D. Neglect. Not a word you often hear mentioned when it comes to marriage. You rarely hear anyone complain of feeling neglected. How is it possible to be in an intimate, married relationship and yet be accused of neglect? Yet, that is what frequently happens in countless marriages. Neglect is another unspokewn form of emotional abuse, and we must recognize its importance. Consider the woman whose husband has been accused of being “married to his work.” We might smile, even chuckle, when we hear a woman make such a complaint, but make no mistake—she is not smiling. Or what about the woman who shares an important event in her life only to be ignored? What if she shares a significant and painful incident only to be told she is “making a mountain out of a molehill?” How might we react if she says these kinds of incidents happen regularly? In these situations, we must step back and reflect on the severity and chronicity of the events. We must take a more thoughtful approach, consider the long-term impact of being consistently neglected, and see it for the form of emotional abuse that it is. ANOTHER UNSPOKEN FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE EMOTIONAL NEGLECT:
28 Christian Counseling Connection TRENDING NOW A Working Definition of Neglect In the previously mentioned circumstances, missing the events’ impact on the woman could be easier than imagined. Emotional neglect is far more severe than we might expect, causing immense emotional and relational pain, and is far more pervasive than we envision. What does it mean to be emotionally neglected? Emotional neglect occurs when an individual’s need for attention, support, affection, and caring is repeatedly ignored. Emotional neglect involves denying a person the emotional attention, concern, and nurturance they have a right to expect. While we are all aware of emotional neglect in children, there is very little written about emotional neglect in adults. We do not talk about adult neglect and how this issue has become part of the landscape of narcissistic and emotional abuse. In fact, emotional neglect occurs in a massive percentage of narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships. Signs of Emotional Neglect Many who are emotionally neglected are unaware of this form of abuse. Numerous abuse victims are unaware of the severity and have never expressed their feelings or shared the specifics of their neglect with others. Remember, they are living with the abuse daily—it becomes a part of their lives and can develop into something that feels “normal.” Additionally, consider that the perpetrator of abuse minimizes their actions, discounting the harm and denying that abuse exists. With so much minimization, it can be nearly impossible for the victim to take a firm stand against the abuse. Let’s consider some of the signs of emotional abuse: n Having one’s feelings and thoughts repeatedly dismissed n Being derided and even mocked for thoughts and feelings n Failure to “hold space” and validate another’s perspective and feelings n Having emotional pain neglected or ridiculed n Being told that emotional pain is “childish” n Having important requests repeatedly disregarded n Experiencing a lack of positive interactions every day Now, imagine many of these events occurring regularly. Envision being ignored and disregarded, or worse, mocked and ridiculed. The victim of neglect often suffers in silence.
Christian Counseling Connection 29 e TRENDING NOW Impact of Emotional Neglect Physical neglect involves withholding food, shelter, clothing, or other basic needs, while emotional neglect involves withholding nurturance, attention, and compassionate concern. Emotionally neglected individuals are either told directly or indirectly that their emotional needs do not matter. The neglecting individual is either too preoccupied with their own life to notice or withholds affection and support out of spite. Either way, the impact is horrific. What is the impact of emotional neglect? While victims of emotional neglect may attempt to valiantly proceed with life, they ultimately wither emotionally like a plant without sunlight, water, and nutrients. I have noticed the following symptoms in emotionally abused individuals: n Increased anxiety and depression n Fearfulness about bringing up concerns in the marriage n Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem n Trouble regulating emotions n Difficulty with trust and deteriorating social relationships n Fearful of sharing personal concerns with others outside the marriage and becoming increasingly withdrawn Intervention Emotional abuse exists in a world where the abuser acts entitled, superior, and dominant. Their actions may have been learned from generations of the abuse of power, perhaps reinforced from a work setting and slowly developed over time. Regardless of the reason, the possibility of ending emotional neglect can only occur with intervention. It is always challenging to ask the abused to fend for themselves and set boundaries that are likely to be ignored or, worse, railed against. Yet, that is what must happen. We know the saying, “It takes a breakdown to have a breakthrough,” is true. Sometimes the relationship must fall apart. What steps lead to a possible intervention, and what might it look like? 1. Assess your situation. Take time to step back and evaluate what is going on. Compare your situation to those previously described. 2. Write out the history of the problem, your current situation, and what changes you would like to see. Be clear with yourself (self-validation) about your circumstances. 3. Share your story with trusted friends. Choose the most thoughtful and wise person you know and share your story with them. Get another perspective to help you gain clarity. 4. Talk to a professional counselor who is trained in narcissism and emotional abuse. This professional should validate your experience, help you gain perspective, and assist you with determining a plan going forward. 5. Consider an intervention where you confront the emotional abuser and detail changes that must be made for you to remain in the relationship. This step, of course, takes great courage and preparation. It may be best done in the presence of a professional to offer the support necessary. Outline the behaviors of concern and the changes needed. Be specific about your feelings and what the abuser must do for you to feel cared for and supported. 6. Practice self-care. None of these steps will be easy. As you already feel weary and depleted, this may appear to be too much, so pace yourself and do what feels right. All the while, practice caring for yourself in meaningful ways. Whether in an emotionally neglectful relationship or assisting someone who is, remember that an intervention does not ensure change—it is simply an invitation for change. The path forward may be rocky and filled with additional conflict and tension. Summary Emotional neglect is rampant, and as clinicians, we have an opportunity to help those suffering in silence. However, to be effective, we must learn to recognize the many forms of abuse, become an ally, and advocate for those suffering. We must advocate for victims of emotional neglect, support them in naming their experiences, validate their abuse, and help them find a path to healing. As always, this is a great opportunity. Let’s do all we can to end this epidemic. ; David Hawkins, M.B.A., M.S.W., M.A., Ph.D., is a Christian clinical psychologist and Director of the Marriage Recovery Center (marriagerecoverycenter.com) in Mill Creek, Washington. He has helped bring healing to thousands of marriages and individuals and is passionate about working with couples in crisis. David is also a speaker and trainer for the AACC and a best-selling author of more than 30 books, including Never Fight Again… Guaranteed! and When Loving Him is Hurting You. While victims of emotional neglect may attempt to valiantly proceed with life, they ultimately wither emotionally like a plant without sunlight, water, and nutrients.
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